The Path Of Ashes

I hit my head upon a rock

My head it broke, the rock did not.

 

I awoke beside grey water

At the foot of a forested mountain,

A wodge of sodden bandage held to my face

To staunch the flow of my blood,

My bicycle beside me

Contrastingly unscratched.

In Dumfries A&E, they scrubbed Scottish grit from my wounds

With little delicacy but some thoroughness

Till my face was clean and raw

Stitched me back together and pronounced me fixed.

Later, a dentist mended my broken teeth.

In time the swelling diminished,

Flesh renewed,

And I looked almost as I had before.

Facial scarring was minimal and rather dashing.

It was only when the brain scan revealed deeper scars …..

 

I hit my head upon a rock

My head it broke, the rock did not.

 

Now, every day, I face that rock –

The weight of its consequence.

There is a fierce lesson in that rock’s stubborn immobility.

Some rocks you cannot break.

Cannot smash your way through.

Some rocks are harder than you.

If you try to be a rock

You will shatter against them.

You must find other ways to overcome them.

 

I hit my head upon a rock

My head it broke, the rock did not.

 

Be like water

Flow around the rocks.

Gently, gently over a long, long time

Erode the rock, wear it down.

This takes time and patience –

A different kind of strength.

Water alters its path

Avoids the obvious conflict.

But water is patient and relentless.

Rock’s walls and dams can hold the water back for a time

But not forever.

Water chuckles its way around Rock’s stern insistence

Until it finds (and it always does)

A chink, a weakness, a way through.

Then the flood will carry the mountain away.

 

I hit my head against a rock

My head it broke, the rock did not.

I plunged my head into a stream

I drowned in there, I could not breathe.

 

Sometimes, to be like Water is not enough.

So, be like the Wind,

Invisible, ever-changing.

When you reach out to grab it – nothing.

Without form, without structure

Wind is the acceptance that change is constant.

It is the surrender of the desire for permanence.

The forever changing

The never resting

The realisation that whatever we think we are – we are not.

That solid, immutable Rock is made up, largely,

Of the space between its molecules.

That our objective world is mainly Wind.

 

I hit my head against a rock

My head it broke, the rock did not.

I plunged my head into a stream

I drowned in there, I could not breathe.

I faced into a hurricane

It tore right through me, I was changed.

 

And, sometimes, we must be like Fire,

Whose very nature is transformation.

Fire is a fierce energy –

It burns, ravages, destroys.

Fire hurts.

We teach our children to fear it

Because we know its power:

Whatever Fire touches, it changes.

If we invite Fire into our lives

We must accept that we will be altered.

We will be reduced to ashes

To be scattered by Wind

Or cast onto the Waters.

We must offer up our old selves

Sacrifice that which we thought we were

For that which we realise we must become.

Embrace that which we do not understand.

Set out upon the path that is not clear.

We must walk along the path of ashes.

 

I hit my head against a rock

My head it broke, the rock did not.

I plunged my head into a stream

I drowned in there, I could not breathe.

I faced into a hurricane

It tore right through me, I was changed.

I thrust my face into the flame

It burnt my flesh, it caused me pain.

Broken,

Drowned,

Torn,

In pain,

I choose to walk this path of ashes.